Stuck in the middle of a fire fight, red screen pulsating in your face, 5 bullets left in your clip with no grenades. You're surrounded, this is it, your final push for glory. Oh wait, there's a wonderfully placed barrel full of some explosive that will ignite when I shoot a piece of metal through it, and BAAM!!! FREEDOM!!
What is it these days that shooters like to pride themselves on? Call of Duty, Battlefield and Medal of Honour all like to base themselves around making a realistic game that has a fair portrayal of war. Well they're obviously wrong. Why would some intelligent terrorist' A, have a barrel of extremely lethal gas or liquid lying around, B, put it in a conveniently placed choke hold and C, all stand around it in a fight? They wouldn't! I am not a huge master on chemistry but I do not think that there is a widely available liquid or gas that would explode when a slightly hot, small piece of metal penetrates it. Some may say it is propane but I happen to believe that propane is stored in longer cylinders, not bright red barrels. Also, why make them bright red? If there is a risk of your base being stormed and you know that you have very dangerous barrels, why make them stand out? Silly, silly games
But, its not just the bland, generic games that use this awful gaming cliché, masterpieces also have been forced to utilise this reality plot hole. Half Life 2, widely considered to be the greatest game of all time, it reinvigorated the whole of gaming, but sadly it still has fallen into the trap of conveniently placed barrels. However, firing an exploding barrel at a combine with a gravity gun is pretty fun I suppose! Another game, Uncharted 2. As you know its my favourite game ever, but for some reasons the enemies decide to stand round a barrel that is very lethal and full of unstable matter. Why? Surely there must be a heat source somewhere else, ever heard of a thing called a bloody radiator?
Sorry for that horrible rant at an extremely serious matter that, to tell you the truth, is holding back games from developing into something worthy of credit. I can guarantee thought that the next CoD will have glowing barrels of some nuclear device that when shot explodes and melts everyone's face, or that the so called 'magical' Battlefield 3 will be completely spoilt when you have the opportunity to shoot a huge barrel in super slow mo to kill the leader of the evil Nazi space cooperation lead by Darth Vader.
When games decide to drop the barrels, then the games balls will start to drop.
Saturday 30 April 2011
Portal 2 Review
Film buffs have Citizen Kane, music lovers have Sergeant Peppers Lonely Hearts Club Band, artists have the Mona Lisa, and us gamers had Portal. Every spanning medium has a certain masterpiece that is loved by everyone, looked upon and set as the pure pinnacle of the skill. The gaming community were blown away when the original Portal was silently released in the Orange Box, and now, Valve have created a full blown sequel to what is considered to be one of the best puzzle games ever. Have they delivered? In short, yes, and damn well!
Whilst the extremely short running time of about 2 hours may have restricted the story in the original Portal, we were still treated to hilarious characters, strange mystery's and an intriguing back story, however, due to the sequel being a stand alone release, Valve have stepped up the story to enormous heights. You play as Chell and at the beginning of the tale you are introduced to a blightly little fella called Wheatley. Loving voiced by Stephen Merchant (The Office), Wheatley guides you through the first few chambers (of which veterans will easily sail through) until you reach the destroyed head quarters of evil robot GLaDOS.We learn that after her demise at the end of the original, Aperture science lab has fallen into chaos. Out of control panels and over grown weeds really give a sense of this previous, living world.
Later through the story the player encounters new, wider open expanses that require precision shots and more unique solutions. The atmosphere in these areas are simply incredible, mixing together mystery, sadness and intrigue. Along with the newer spaces we are introduced to Aperture founder Cave Johnson, voiced by JK Simmons (Spider Man) who voices the founder with impeccable enthusiasm and passion. Overall, the story is amazing and a real work of art. There are twists and turns which will have you guessing every time this roller-coaster dips. Portal 2 steps up the story from the original from a simple back story, to a full blown narrative which flesh's out the game in such a way that the original Portal feels like a concept demo.
The introduction of the new characters such as Wheatley and Cave Johnson assist the story along, but the voice acting is out of this world. Each of Stephen Merchants lines are read with intelligence and wit, resulting in Wheatley becoming the main source of comedy, another aspect which Portal 2 should pride itself on. Portal 2 is the funniest game ever. Its a bold claim but never have I actual laughed out loud so frequently. The humour may be dark and some lines are simply immature ('Just goes to show that people with brain damage are the real heroes') , but the overall tone of the humour is great and allows a more light hearted side of Aperture to come through, especially with Wheatley's friendly west country accent.
But, James I here you ask, what about the puzzles? Well, calm down, I'm about to explain, god! The basic portal gun is your best friend once again (but this time, with an increased bass). For me, the novelty of having the ability to create endless portals never grows old, but the implementation of the portals, buttons and blocks is wonderful. Moreover, as your progress your arsenal increases. We are shown how to use repulsion gels, acceleration gels, faith plates and excursion tunnels. You are taught how to use and combine the new features slowly and steadily, guiding you by the hand for the first few examples and then by the end letting you experiment with them.
This is what Portal does best. The tests may first feel easy and simple but what we don't realise is that it is slowly guiding and teaching us the basics whilst leading us up to the more challenging puzzles that require deep thought. The learning curve and pacing is pitch perfect, much like the original. Towards the end chambers, you will find yourself ripping your hair out and crying as the solutions are never present, but strangely, the puzzles are never too hard and have the knack to revealing the solution a split second before you snap and storm away. Somehow, Valve manage to make you feel like Gordon Freeman every time you complete a test chamber, gleaming away at how intelligent you feel. If you want a game to cheer you up and make you think you could challnge Einstein in an IQ-off in unexpected ways, Portal 2 is that game.
Sadly, I completed the single player campaign in 7 hours, but I truly believe that Portal (original and sequel) are the perfect examples of quality over quantity. However, the sequel has arrived with a brilliant co-op mode which requires 2 players to solve ever growing harder puzzles, but this time with 4 portals instead of 2. The co-op is a treat as we are given another 7 hour story with another 50 or so test chambers. In spite of the fun aspect, I like to think that in 3 or 4 years time, we will look back at Portal 2 and realise the affects which the co-op has had. I have thrown around the word 'unique' quite a lot this review, but the co-op is one of a kind. It encourages team work like no other game available and it may be the making of new relationships (or breaking, depends how patient you are). Really, the co-op is a must try experience and if you do not have any fun, then you have no soul. Sadly, I have not been able to try out the online offering as the PSN has been down since release day, but from what I have heard, it is lag free and extremely streamlined.
Portal 2 is a beautiful game. Much like my argument with Vanquish, I would much rather pay a full price for a 5 hour game that offers the pinnacle of gameplay and new ideas than buying into a 40 hour campaign that is dull and distilled. Whilst the loading times are poor for a current gen game, once the game has loaded up, the wait will be worth it, and although there is a lack of a new engine, the Source engine still provides Portal 2 with the style and graphical power it needs. Somehow Valve have created yet another masterpiece. Leave the Portal franchise here please, on this beautiful final note.
Funny, clever, intelligent and feel good, Portal 2 is a true masterpiece. Better than Half Life? I'll let you decide.
Whilst the extremely short running time of about 2 hours may have restricted the story in the original Portal, we were still treated to hilarious characters, strange mystery's and an intriguing back story, however, due to the sequel being a stand alone release, Valve have stepped up the story to enormous heights. You play as Chell and at the beginning of the tale you are introduced to a blightly little fella called Wheatley. Loving voiced by Stephen Merchant (The Office), Wheatley guides you through the first few chambers (of which veterans will easily sail through) until you reach the destroyed head quarters of evil robot GLaDOS.We learn that after her demise at the end of the original, Aperture science lab has fallen into chaos. Out of control panels and over grown weeds really give a sense of this previous, living world.
Later through the story the player encounters new, wider open expanses that require precision shots and more unique solutions. The atmosphere in these areas are simply incredible, mixing together mystery, sadness and intrigue. Along with the newer spaces we are introduced to Aperture founder Cave Johnson, voiced by JK Simmons (Spider Man) who voices the founder with impeccable enthusiasm and passion. Overall, the story is amazing and a real work of art. There are twists and turns which will have you guessing every time this roller-coaster dips. Portal 2 steps up the story from the original from a simple back story, to a full blown narrative which flesh's out the game in such a way that the original Portal feels like a concept demo.The introduction of the new characters such as Wheatley and Cave Johnson assist the story along, but the voice acting is out of this world. Each of Stephen Merchants lines are read with intelligence and wit, resulting in Wheatley becoming the main source of comedy, another aspect which Portal 2 should pride itself on. Portal 2 is the funniest game ever. Its a bold claim but never have I actual laughed out loud so frequently. The humour may be dark and some lines are simply immature ('Just goes to show that people with brain damage are the real heroes') , but the overall tone of the humour is great and allows a more light hearted side of Aperture to come through, especially with Wheatley's friendly west country accent.
But, James I here you ask, what about the puzzles? Well, calm down, I'm about to explain, god! The basic portal gun is your best friend once again (but this time, with an increased bass). For me, the novelty of having the ability to create endless portals never grows old, but the implementation of the portals, buttons and blocks is wonderful. Moreover, as your progress your arsenal increases. We are shown how to use repulsion gels, acceleration gels, faith plates and excursion tunnels. You are taught how to use and combine the new features slowly and steadily, guiding you by the hand for the first few examples and then by the end letting you experiment with them.
This is what Portal does best. The tests may first feel easy and simple but what we don't realise is that it is slowly guiding and teaching us the basics whilst leading us up to the more challenging puzzles that require deep thought. The learning curve and pacing is pitch perfect, much like the original. Towards the end chambers, you will find yourself ripping your hair out and crying as the solutions are never present, but strangely, the puzzles are never too hard and have the knack to revealing the solution a split second before you snap and storm away. Somehow, Valve manage to make you feel like Gordon Freeman every time you complete a test chamber, gleaming away at how intelligent you feel. If you want a game to cheer you up and make you think you could challnge Einstein in an IQ-off in unexpected ways, Portal 2 is that game.
Sadly, I completed the single player campaign in 7 hours, but I truly believe that Portal (original and sequel) are the perfect examples of quality over quantity. However, the sequel has arrived with a brilliant co-op mode which requires 2 players to solve ever growing harder puzzles, but this time with 4 portals instead of 2. The co-op is a treat as we are given another 7 hour story with another 50 or so test chambers. In spite of the fun aspect, I like to think that in 3 or 4 years time, we will look back at Portal 2 and realise the affects which the co-op has had. I have thrown around the word 'unique' quite a lot this review, but the co-op is one of a kind. It encourages team work like no other game available and it may be the making of new relationships (or breaking, depends how patient you are). Really, the co-op is a must try experience and if you do not have any fun, then you have no soul. Sadly, I have not been able to try out the online offering as the PSN has been down since release day, but from what I have heard, it is lag free and extremely streamlined.Portal 2 is a beautiful game. Much like my argument with Vanquish, I would much rather pay a full price for a 5 hour game that offers the pinnacle of gameplay and new ideas than buying into a 40 hour campaign that is dull and distilled. Whilst the loading times are poor for a current gen game, once the game has loaded up, the wait will be worth it, and although there is a lack of a new engine, the Source engine still provides Portal 2 with the style and graphical power it needs. Somehow Valve have created yet another masterpiece. Leave the Portal franchise here please, on this beautiful final note.
Funny, clever, intelligent and feel good, Portal 2 is a true masterpiece. Better than Half Life? I'll let you decide.
10/10
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